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ash

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[29 Apr 2006|08:34pm]
[ mood | calm ]


my body breaks
and my mind errods.
what left of me,
except memories
well im strong and proud
how i laughed so loud.
they were old and gray
hope they dont fade away.
times comes and go
and seasons fade
faces change
in the years of rage
what remains
is you and i
and where you seek is where i'll be
what you are is what i becoome.
when you speak ill be a listening ear.
what survives is all of you and i.
the moon will fall
and the sun will freeze.
like bits of dust
that pleasure me.
so when things come to untie again
what reamain is you and i.
the time you walk
is right around me
what you are
is what i'll become
when you speak ill be a listnenig hear
what survives is always you and i.

2 comments|post comment

[18 Apr 2006|07:12pm]
Are you...
(x) in love
(_) wearing pants
(x) wearing a shirt
(x) wearing a bra
( ) wearing boxers
(_) a victim
(_) single
(x) taken
(x) weird
(x) awesome
(_) prep
(_) goth
(_) punk
(x) lonely
(x) tired
(x) black
(x) white
(x) tired of labels

do you...
( ) like to cry
(x) eat raman noodles
(_) love school
(x) love dorks
( ) love me-who the fuck are you
(_) love your LJ
(x) kick ass
(x) like shirley temples
(x) worship someone
(_) have a girlfriend-unless you count tess
(x) have a boyfriend
(x) love your girlfriend/boyfriend
(x) tell your girlfriend/boyfriend you love them
(x) think you're going to break up with girlfriend/boyfriend in the future
( ) secretly hate them...sometimes
(x) own a thong
(x) sing in the shower
(x) hate bush
(x) hate kerry
(x) hate america
(x) hate where you live
(_) love bush
(_) love kerry
(_) love america
(_) not care about politics.

have you ever..
(x) started a fire
(x) told someone you loved them
(x) told someone you hated them
(x) been in a taxi
(_) been to NYC
( ) been on a train
(x) been on an airplane
(x) left the country
(x) lied to someone you love
(x) wanted to die
( ) felt everything was perfect
(x) kissed someone of the opposite sex
(x) kissed someone of the same sex
(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) regretted kissing someone
(x) been in love
(x) taken a dance class
(_) went somewhere via subway
(x) went somewhere via horse
( ) went somewhere via monorail
(x) went somewhere via scooter
(x) snuck out
(x) gotten caught sneaking out
(x) been walked in on
(x) hated someone
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) broken a bone
(x) got surgery
(x) been made fun of
(x) kicked someones ass
(x) literally kicked someones ass
(x) wished you were someone else
(x) cried because you were happy
(x) made a layout
(_) been rejected from a community
(_) been rejected from a clique
(x) failed a class..ha
(x) tripped and fell on your face
(x) tripped and fell on your ass
(x) lost something important
(x) lost someone important
(x) seen something you shouldn't have

who is...
your favorite person(s) ?
your favorite band? the doors
your idol? Gwen Stefani, Jim Morrison
the last person you saw? erika, mexican, rob, will
the last person you kissed? doesnt matter
the last person you hugged? bryan
the last person you called? rob
the last person you held hands with? justin
standing behind you? no one
the best person ever? Captain Planet
your boyfriend/girlfriend? Justin Michael
the last person who annoyed you? psh. mom,matt,rob


oh that was just constructive wasnt it
1 comment|post comment

[12 Apr 2006|04:05pm]
damn i forgot how big ofa waste lj is.


this is only for cool things i decided to put in here now
2 comments|post comment

[01 Mar 2006|10:18pm]
haters and lovers
fools and wise men
we are gathered here today
to comencerate the coming of SPRING.

[[hear it tweeting in window..><><?}]

*takes bow*



4 comments|post comment

[15 Feb 2006|05:01pm]
[ mood | busy ]

ive spent the last couple of days/nights in HP.
that was intresting.
i feel like you cant really hide from reality in that city.
which is both good and bad at the same time.
everyone is sure real thats fersure.
i miss my MOOSE
and i really despise doctors.
but on the plus side

i had the most amazing valentines day ever
i love that boy

post comment

[09 Feb 2006|07:17pm]
[ mood | ??? ]

so it seems that if im not really hyper and loud, everyone thinks im pissed.everyone. you know people i can have more than one emotion. last time i checked that was aloud. i wasnt pissed and im not. im like 23439830 emoitions right now and thats not one of them. im just really worried about everything and everyone especially my mom and all. and im tired of being telling me not to worry because im sorry but i just cant do that, if i care about someone in my life then your automatic instinct is to worry about them and there wellbeing. i just want whats best for everyone. somehow i say this and care less about myself than others. it just makes me wonder,sometimes curiostiy gets the best of me. im stressed for no apparent reason though and thats another thing i dont get. but im trying to make a coralation between all my emotions and the possible links so i guess i can just blame that one on being me or something stupid like hormones. (isnt that what people always say?) i miss everything. i feel like we are all so different from what or who we use to be. and i've learned that high school is all about changing and finding your own indiviual identity so its quite common for us to change from year to year (even more often in others.) So im not ridiculing anyone for that, i know ive changed a lot, some for the better and some for the worst. Petty stupid things that people do are a big aggravation right now and i actually take offense to it when people say or do stupid shit or just things that i find aggravating. i need to stop that. its not the right thing to do. Spiritually im struggling as well. And i know this sounds dumb but its what i agree with, i think that if more teenagers put their heart into beliving in a higher deity that things would work in their favor. I mean really, what is the downfall of having something to belive in. But theres bits and pieces of many religions that i agree with and cant find full belief in just one. Wicca, Buddhism, Christiany, i dont think its fair that you must stay dedicated completely to one religion or you are not a true follower. If i believe in one God, (just not most of the Bible,) and belive in the aspects of Buddhism and Wicca, then what do i qualify as? Why do I have to qualify as anything? Why is not socially acceptable to have more than one belief? I'm tired of people saying they don't care either (cause i think we all hear that about one thing or another way too often.) because the truth is living in a socail setting that we were all raised upon you really do care, just some less than others. I know i've said this abuot things before and looking back on it i know it was/is a lie. Do we say things like that to try and portray a certain image. Or to uphold a certain social standard? Why?...thats all i want to know to everything, WHY? I wish the answers would unfold in front of me, like a deck of tarot cards. Why does trying to do the right thing hurt so bad?

                                                                                      i really had to get that out there so sorry if it seems like ive been freaking out towards you lately




damn i really need to stop paying attention in sociology

9 comments|post comment

ohmy [06 Feb 2006|05:16pm]
[ mood | happy ]

yes i am going against all the cliche stuff i preach about
i dont care what you think
yes im a bit of a nerd lately
i think its this intense thing called love

and i feel valentines day getting the best of me...

oh
  w
      e
         l
            l.....



6 comments|post comment

Make the right move... [31 Jan 2006|03:37pm]
[ mood | moved ]

for those who did not expirence the movement of Challenge Day truly lucked out. Today was full of emotions where at one point everyone was in tears and laughter. I really learned a lot today and think that everyone else that was invlolved can say the same thing. It was so comforting to know that everyone does have real issues that must be dealt with, and you are not alone in everything. I know your whole life you are told this but today was the first day i have actually seen it in action. It was moving and really inspiring. I know that i have made several vows to myself that i promise to fufill. Opening up to a complete stranger and being comfortable with it is not something that happens to me (or anyone else im assuming) is not something that comes naturally or even willingly. But today I expected it to be cheesy and uninformative, but it was far from that. I got to hear other peoples stories, hardships and accomplishments. Never did i feel alone or judged. If Dondero doesnt already feel like a family as it is, I really think this is the next step up in the closet thing to a perfect school that we will ever recieve. Those 120 people or so that went all were moved, male and female alike. And i know each and everyone will be encouraged and almost feel obligated to set out and make a difference for the better of our school/friendships/society. I know that next time i hear someone being teased or gossiping (which i know i must get better at and intend on doing so) i will single handedly call them out upon it. I think we can spare this.


sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen to the ones that need it






happy 16th erika ann

9 comments|post comment

[28 Jan 2006|01:06pm]
[ mood | confused ]

mhhh.


im just a girl with
good intentions and best wishes




why cant i just have my way with it

3 comments|post comment

[25 Jan 2006|08:54pm]
I will believe her when she puts it in her livejournal.
2 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2006|01:59pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

aaaaaaashley's baaack........








:D

6 comments|post comment

[19 Jan 2006|02:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]

chillen at laura's house.
which is amazing,because...

her dog plays hide and seek.
and we paint nickels and shit.
and went to Coney,
and saw a whole bunch of worthless Kimball kids.

overall.

really really weird day.


and life is to real...
so i wonder if i can kill it


ohhh shit im a terrorist

2 comments|post comment

[14 Jan 2006|03:14pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

so i guess i just am kinda sucking right now

9 comments|post comment

[13 Jan 2006|03:43pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i love you steve m. longe.


sorry:/





i hope seeing my girls will make this not so depressing

6 comments|post comment

don't rejoice everytime you hear the time of my voice [06 Jan 2006|10:43pm]
[ mood | curious/cynical/loved..wtf ]

did i ever say how i love
laura
and erika.


and pretty much everyone else sucks...
few exceptions.

oh and will smith is one of those.


and any of those 7 stores suck.


im a latino puck rocker.
that likes kicking it old school with
really lame goodies.




rararrarara


whats going on tommorow

2 comments|post comment

[03 Jan 2006|06:02pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

should i be the daughter im suppose to be and uphold my fake sympathy and care?



should i just give in to the temptations of just whaling and jumping, waving my fingers on both hands as a friendly fuck you greeting?



am i a pushover?
should i admit the obvious?
will i ever just fucking give up on her already?








i hate decsision.
i wish life came with an itenerary and a schedule.





+++++
bought Curtain Call finally.

2 comments|post comment

fuck everything [31 Dec 2005|05:25pm]
oh man am i just great at fucking things up.

now i have no...
trust
justin
freedom
life


i think i just dont want to talk to people anymore
it complicates everything

i swear to god im gonna die without seeing him


this is fucking great.

big misunderstandings.


now laura and erika are still chilling today.
without me.
and that fucking sucks.
..i could go on..

i cant leave anywhere tonight.
cause im not trusted.

and everyone already has plans
so nothing for ashley to do.
and yeah i get to spend this day with my
asshole
drunken
father.

i fucking suck.
im digging this hole deeper
deeper
and deeper.



mhhhh...can someone please make this worse.
i will applaude you sir/ma'am.
2 comments|post comment

[31 Dec 2005|02:13am]
fuck everything
i give up





excuse me:when do we get to die now ma'am?
2 comments|post comment

[30 Dec 2005|01:09am]
[ mood | giddy ]

sometimes circles are surronded by edges.














+laura
+lef
+deirdre
+kathlyn
+christina

+justin tomorrow


i just love everyone

3 comments|post comment

[18 Dec 2005|08:07pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

so i went up north all weekend.
ohhh yeah.
not.

i just came back from christmas caroling
at an old folks home.
i feel like a dork but it was really nice,
those people were just so happy.
i got a little bit emotional up there. :/

and i got to see my heather!!!!
did i mention that she is my love?!?

two days of school.
then break.
then trip up to foley to see my sex kitten tess?!
haha oh yeah.

SO
who wants to chill on break?!?

hit me up


ash

1 comment|post comment

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